hi there...sorry for not updating..wasn't feeling good emotionally for the past few weeks...but i'm better now..i guess the difference in the past and now is that i never deny God's power and HIs existence and the fact that He's the only true and living God that have the authority to do miricles..
it's not an overnight revelation..it took me bout 2years to understand that God will still and always be God no matter what happen..figure out throughout the past years...why dun we be at God's side since we know we can't "win" Him if we go against Him..eh..
another lesson i learnt is, when we dont know who Jesus is..life can be so easy..no one to really "control" your life..you can do things you want..right or wrong..maybe to you everything is right as long as you dun go against the law..but God is above the laws...
then after we know who Jesus is..then life start to get in order..He got to tune us back to the right track..and the process can be..or maybe...but for me is a challenging one..a hard one..many ppl thinks that being a Christian has no freedom..well, that's not thru...Freedom is being able to make a right choice..to chose to do the right things in the sight of God...is when you have the authority becos Jesus have given us the Holy spirit...to be freed from our bad habits or bad characters...we are set free from all the bondages..we gain freedom..we gain new life...we gain joy..love and peace in our life...come to think of it...Jesus is just like a traffic light...making sure everything is proper on the road..guiding the cars (our life) and etc.
and if you know who is Jesus but you deny Him..maybe becos of disappointed...frustration..upset that things got bad after becoming a christian..prob seems to be more then before..then you decide to deny Him...decide to go back to who you were in the past so free and easy..thinking that life will be back to "normal"..but that's not true AT ALL...it's my life experience...(that's why i dare to say it's not true)..things will only get worst day by day...
Humans have emotion...when we are down...we are down...can't expect us to be strong suddenly after a day...Jesus wont want us to wear this fake mask before Him...He wants the true us to come before Him..trials and problems dun come to make us fall..it happens to make us grow..to make us strong..to remind us that we got to rely on God..
when there is up..there will be down...when there is down..there will be up..
it's only when there are down...then we will appreciate the times when we are high up there...
jia you ba guys..jia you ba....Joanne =)...

Hi there,
I've uploaded some photos taken during the mission trip..it's dated 25th june..i actually did a draft on the 25th but didn't finish it...so now it's completed..pls scroll down to that post for the pics..

life have been stagnant for me..be it in reality or spiritually...
but at least i'm working now..not really working thou..cos it's only like 2hour per day..in the evening...didn't know it's in the evening at first..kinda sian after knowing it cos it's only in the evening when i can meet my sis for dinner and it's when my parents are back from work..so in the day i'll still be alone and at night i'll be working.. =(
but i shan't complain so much cos this job came to me...i didn't search for it..and it pays well too..

can't seem to be still..can't seem to quiet down...can't really worship...and it shucks..
how will one feel if other's dun appreciate your care and concern but instead says that ur're interfering...have i gone overboard?..i really dun think so...
"there's nothing wrong with my life"...is this a familiar phase and tots humans have...are you sure there's nothing wrong or you're just running away from ur life?...putting unsolved issues behind and moving forward..moving forward is right but what about the unsolved issues?...against what standards and measures, yours or God's, are you using to say that your life is right and you are doing the right things?...

i dun know what to say and do..i tried but it backfired...i dunno why it hurts so much..but it's just so disappointing...maybe becos the care and concern is really from my heart and not that i'm judging..or critizing..maybe i'm just sick of the attitudes..maybe maybe maybe...ha..

many ppl seems to be alright...on the surface but they aren't really fine inside...and i know that..but what can i do then?...i dunno how to encourage..i dunno how to help...teach me dear Lord...
u know what oh Lord...i really hope they will cont. to rely and trust u...thou probs and obstacles are ahead but if they are still focusing on you..i'll be glad already...thou i can't do anything to help them..i know you can...cos nothing is impossible for you..nothing is too big or too small for you..so my dear friends...rem to slow down your pace and spend time with Jesus...He will give you the strenght when u are tired or weak...He will renew and refresh u...He will guide and protect you..He will embrace and comfort you..HE will be your rock..jia you ba!!

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, it's leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruits. Jermiah 17:18

One of the song sang by the baka youth during their sunday service..
it was a song that touch many of our hearts...
and this shall be a song to remind myself and the rest how great is His love....How He is willing to walk with us through our bad times..how He is willing to embrace us..do not give up...do not give up...
i've uploaded the song into my playlist too...song number 54...

有一天
有一天 你若觉得失去勇气，
有一天你若真的想放弃。
有一天你若感觉没人爱你，
有一天好像走到谷底。

那一天你要振作你的心情，
那一天你要珍惜你自己。
那一天不要忘记有人爱你，
那一天不要轻易说放弃。

这个世界真有一位上帝，
他爱你，他愿意帮助你。
茫茫人海，虽然寂寞，
他爱能温暖一切了我。
这个世界真有一位上帝，
他的双手渴望紧紧拥抱你。
慢慢长夜陪你走过，他爱你，
伴你一生持久。

this was suppose to be an entry for the pictures taken during the mission trip...but it wont be for now...
it's been so long since i cried so hard....
it's been so long since i had that sour feeling in me...the sourness that starts from the heart and it just affect the rest of my body...
the giant that is sleeping inside me...i tot it was gone...it's been a year plus...never did i realise it wasn't gone...it's just sleeping...
i forget how it felt..but now i remembered...
i once said b4 it's time for me to bless others..to encourage and strengthen them...but i doubt i can...
i tot i can do it with God's grace...but i realise it's hard...it's funny that only yesterday my ex-lecturer from TP asked if i'm a strong christian now..and i answered yes...but now...i think i'm not...
why did i always turns the table around...feels like i'm trying to run away...i am suppose to encourage and be there..but instead...i took pity of myself and started turning the whole situation around...how then will the other party be strong again if he or she has to encourage me instead...i should be strong...to stand firm in the gap and pray for them..why then did i fall..this shouldn't be the way...
i asked God to take away all that He has done for me...for i'm not strong enough to be the one helping others...a year of freedom but what have i done ...who have i really helped and blessed..
the aches just can't go away...
don't ask me about this entry...this entry shouldn't even exist.....
though i'm like that now...i'm not saying God is fake....HE is still the same yesterday..today..and forever...but i disallow myself to be with Him...for this period of time...
I know He is still a Great God...Faithful and Just...
i tot i can handle..just pray and lift it up to God...but it's so hard...i'm not that strong afterall...
i'm not going to give up God...but for now....let me be...

I'm sorry i'm such a failure...instead of encouraging and being there for you...i myself fell too...i really dun wan to fall...i want to be a blessing to others and not a burden...i want to help you...i want to help the guys...but i'm not able to...pls dun blame yourself...i have to learn to fall and stand up again...same goes to you....dun let all these beat you down...no weapons form against us will prosper for our God is with us...yes...He may seems far now...becos of all the probs.....but we both know He's just beside us...dun give up gal...

the scariest thing is not bout falling down...but it's bout not getting up after u fall...it's hard to do it alone...let God help you..be under His wings..He will shield and protect you...
currently listening to song 48. on my playlist...because your loving kindness is..how i wish..i can sing this song now...

On the way to Chiangmai..looking out from the plane..

The monster truck tt conquer the mountains!!..lOl

Inside the Jeep..can u see the road ahead??..i doubt so..

My friends having a great time behind the truck..ha..
Mountains..mountains..and more mountains...
The road up the mountains..so far so good..at least the road are still made of concrete..

Cristal with the HuayHok children =)




Praying for the adults..The lady is wearing her traditional costume..How well they present themselves when comes to church service..thou it's just for an hour or two..their respect and honour for God is something we must learn.







Their classrooms..










Our sleeping area..

Us with some of the HuayHok village family..










On our way down the Baka village..told u le..God is such an amazing painter...







The church cum hostel for the youth

The open area where we perform our skit...


Getting ready for the skit..


One of the scene..Ivan as Jesus is on the way to calvary with Jacky and Robin as roman soliders beating and mocking him..





Paul (left) with uncle Thomas (Right). Paul is our driver from thailand. He is also a Christian.Really wanna thank him so much for helping us throughout..especially when our trucks got stuck in the mud..Paul must be an angel send by God... =)










The church in Baka village..sunday service..







See how they just dance before God during worship..



Fruitful Vine church with Pastor Lee, his wife and their baby boy...
Fruitful vine youth with the youth from Baka..

Hi there, I'm back from mission trip!
Emmanuel - God With Us...indeed..He is with us all the time..Let me share with u guys how God sees us thru this trip..*Ps. it will be a super long entry!!*

Day 1
one of my church member actually forgot to check his passport...only got 5mths validity..oh man...blur him..ha...early in the morning at 7am...we gathered tgt in the airport and started praying...pray tt God will forgive our carelessness and that the singapore and thailand authority will allow him to pass..and yup!...Both singapore and thailand gave the green light.. =)


after reaching thailand at bout 10.30am..we hop on to our jeeps..there's 2 4by4 wheel drive jeep and 2 2by4 wheel drive car...squeeze in all our luggages into one of the car becos that's the only one that have shelter on the back..hmm..the journey there was long man..we stop for lunch at bout 2plus?...can't really rem...then we're off to pick pastor Lee and he led us to the village...at the top of the mountains...it started to rain heavily..and some of us got worried becos the road up the mountains aren't made of cement...but mud..red mud..i was kinda alright..maybe i like adventure ba..eh..but the reason must be God's peace and assurance...after the pour...guess what...we saw a rainbow...thou it was quite faint...but i smile..rainbow...God's convenant..His promise..somehow..i know...God will be with us throughout..


the roads were really scary..bumpy and wet...some of our vehicle can't drive up the steep mud road due to the uneven and wet mud...there was once the jeep infront of mine slided backwards..ha...no joke...we were quite worried for the cars at our back..the 2by4 car with all our luggages..it must have added much weight to it...Pastor Lee, being more experience, have to walk down the mountain to drive it up for us...it was a sign of relieved when we saw all the 4vehicles arrived...i dunno about the rest..but while waiting..i prayed that God will bring them up safe and sound..that His angels will watch over and carried them up..and again...God did it...


after the long and challenging journey finally we reach HuayHok village...i must tell you...i almost teared...not due to the car journey but the warm welcome the children (12yr and below) have given to us...they just cheered and clapped their hands upon seeing us!...so heart-warming..

had a quick dinner and then the night service..they waited for us to start the service..our pastor preach for awhile and we started praying for the adults and the children there...

Again i thank God for giving me the courage to pray for the children..maybe becos i dunno them that's why i dare to pray..i dunno..i prayed in chinese..haha..after that the children was brought to another room..sis cristal told them story from the bible and our adults made balloon for them...

the children were so adorable..so simple..so lovely...

Day 2

i didn't really sleep in the night..thanks to the mosquito and the rooster..haha...the view from the mountain top is just magnificant..God is such a wonderful painter i must say...imagine there were clouds below where you are...and you are just among the clouds..so beautiful...the people over there are really nice..they cooked so much for us...i believe what they have provided us for a meal is enough for them for maybe 3 meals?..althought they have not much to give but all these are enough...their hospitality..come from within their heart...

after breakfast we cont. our journey downhill to another village...Baka village..it's actually a youth hostel..the children from huayhok..after finishing their primary school education will have to travel downhill for their secondary school education..this Youth hostel is for them to stay so that their journey will be shorten..

it was about 3plus pm and most of the youth wont around..there's another church organization from singapore there also..they were there to teach them chinese..

we had our lunch there and we were brought to a resort...pastor Lee booked it for us...we rest for awhile after that...prepared our logistic for our skit...

had dinner at the hostel then we proceed to an old school where the night service will be held..

the service started with some songs led by pastor lee's wife and it's our skit..

Thank God...everything went really well...our pastor said there's annointing in our skit..i thank God for that...except for the song we sang that went out of tune..ha...everything was great..then there is preaching and praying...many ppl responded to the altar call...then we went to pray for the youth and the children...and guess what...God timing is always just right...right after we said our closing prayer..it started to rain..just in time to look for shelter..haha..

the rain got heavy and light now and then...and our drivers(church members) decided to drive down the 4vehicle that we have parked at the hostel..the journey is only about 8mins?..but we waited for at least an hour...all of us wondered what happen...we were thinking coming down the mountain should be easiler then going up..until we managed to contact one of our church member...he told us 2car got struck in the mud..

oh man..no joke again..going downhill..again we started praying...finally one of the driver arrived and he told us what happen..He's the first car to drive down...at the first gear..without pressing the accelerator..the car skidded down..he got to brake and stay still if not the car will have skidded more. another vehicle at the back have to tie a rope to the car to pull it up..but it got struck also..it was raining heavily then and all of them have to put rocks and bricks on the mud in order for the car to travel down the right path..after hearing these..yes...we prayed...we can do nothing there...but just to pray for God's hands to protect them..

at last..all of them arrived...wet and muddy all over...tired and exhausted...their shoe broke too..

we were all so thankful to our dear Lord...i must say it's a prayerful 2days for me...so many time we couldn't do or help..but just pray and believe...


Day3
it's our last day at Baka village..it's a sunday..and so we join the youth for their sunday service..they were so open when it comes to praise and worship..they clap..they dance...they aren't bothered bout who's around them...with all their heart, soul and mind..they praise and worship the Lord.

after lunch...we're off to chiangmai...we reached the hotel at bout 9plus pm...ate our "dinner" at bout 10plus...eh..then walk round the night market for awhile and back to the hotel..

the hotel was good..4stars..how i wish i can bring the bed home..haha..

Day4
it's our recreation day...we went to sit elephant ride..ox ride..and rafting..it was actually a very slow and peaceful ride along the river...but i fell into the river..haha..silly me..got all wet...lucky the river was shallow..i swam to the side off the raft and my friend, paul pulled me up..i was the joke of the day..everyone was like "annoucning to everyone la...lol

then we went to a resturant which sells all kinds of tibits and sharkfin and birdnest...i didn't eat them..just bought some tibits..

lastly we went to a shop which sells honey..all kind of honey..

sometime happened which almost made me cried..i was sad...or maybe disappointed...i remembered saying i'm going to the toilet..but now i can't rem if i said to a particular person or just say it out to...everybody..or maybe...nobody...eh..maybe they didn't hear me..and all left the shop..to the bus..off they go...i was panic when i can't see them in the shop..plus i didn't recognise the bus...went in and out of the shop a few times until i saw familiar ppl on a bus which is slowing down..and yes..they were doing headcount after starting off..then realise i was missing..well..
sat behind the bus...controlling my tears...it's over..can't blame anyone..maybe i should have just told the organizer...like i said..it's over..i still love all of you guys..=)

Day5
last day...had breakfast and off we go...to the airport..reached singapore at bout 4pm...

all in all...i bought a fake puma shoe..a 44L backpack for myself..a skirt for sis..and DFS wine for my family...

Overall, it's a wonderful experience...wish we could stay at the villages longer thou...pray that God will cont. to revive the churches..and the people..and for the leaders there to cont. this will of God...be their strength...give them hope and a passion for soul...a passion for God...