was too tired to blog last night...today working afternoon shift....
should be doing work butthen no mood...should be sleeping butthen can't sleep...

yesterday almost cried two times outside...my tkd coach called me...though not asking me bout tkd but he's last sentence was...i dunno...make me miss them alot ba...
went back school after work...i know TP having tkd training so went to the sport hall to see...wanted to hide from them but they saw me...ha...
went to bow to my TP coach from outside the sport hall...he nodded his head...i almost cried again...
they ask when i'm going back for training...
i dunno..i'm not ready yet...
so use to having him around during training...feel so werid without him around to hold the target...to cheer me on..to support me through the training...
thought i miss training alot but i can't go back...
dun ask me why...i'm just not ready...
feel so guilty...wo dui bu qi my two coach...plus him will be 3...and jon...4....
very tempted to kick the target last night but too many ppl le...sigh...
yesterday got friendly match with one JC...watching halfway it rain...damn...worried bout club ppl but at the same time want to see them spar...guess wat...i chose club...having in mind i'm still in the club...and i have to make sure things are alright..see them drench and i'm dry..feel so bad...after that then i was like walking up and down the sport hall...one side is club..the other is tkd...
haiz....
dun worry dun worry...i'm alright..i'm fine....till the day i can't take it anymore then i guess i'll need to find a comfortable shoulder to flood on ba...
i must stay strong...i have to....there are many more things for me to do...i cannot break down...i cannot give up...

hope things will be alright for u gal...hoping..and praying...*

*how long can i last....*