it really seems that we have to be seperated far apart...
if only by doing so can make u forget...i guess i cannot be so selfish...to asked u to stick to my way.
Meaning of fate to both of us is different...this make me wonder is there such thing as fate.
one have walked too fast, the other is catching up behind..
as long as they love each other..it doesn't matter..
BUt like the actoress in the show all about love said, this couple is very ke lian..cos both cannot walked together down the path of life.
i've walked too fast down the road and you are trying hard to catch up.
i've walked too fast down the road..i cannot look back now...not at this moment

it's true i still hope we can be together, but not now.
i can't ask you to wait becos i cannot promise you i will get back together with you.
so i have to ask you to forget about me...ask you to let go..
i may sound alright but inside me...i'm struggling...
i cannot predict the future...i can only see the present situation...
i'm really sad that this relationship will turn out like that...

we really cannot be fren?
cannot meet up for years?
haiz...
it's hard for me to say this...but i have to...forget ba..let go ba...like the show..just take it that i'm dead...don't hold on anymore...find a new gf to forget me..
i hope the gal will treat you good..really...
even though we can't be fren...in my heart..you will always be..
take care pls...
for the last time...pls allow me to say this...i really miss being with you...

hey gal,
no sorry should be between us remember..
actually...i kinda expected it...i mean as in u not being able to let go at this point of time...
that day u did that without really thinking through..
u did it in the mist of anger and..i dunno..eh..that's why i kept asking you WHY WHY WHY.....
but but but...dun worry gal..
i took like dunno how long to move on too...must say i'm still trying to move on..but i'm doing fine i guess..and i hope..hmmm..why did i say hope eh...hmm..ha..
anyway i'll always be here for u dear gal......
don't need to say sorry...
just be strong..learn to put down slowly...
yes, the road may seem hard but don't doubt yourself gal..
if you ever do..always remember i'm here and HE is too..
take care sis...
this is all i ask from you...

I AM ANGRY....haiz...

why...dunno what to say..dunno what to do...

hey,
finally manange to change my blog song to this current one..it's a christian song
find it very meaning...very true..

title of song: you carried me

yes, you did....
you carry me through all of my trials..
you carry me when i was troubled and alone..
when my strength has gone ...couldn't get along, without you
you carry me so i wouldn't stumbled..
you carry me just when i needed someone else..
you would be a fren..
and i reach the end..
cos you carry me....

i hope everything is over...
it's really time to let go...

you should too...
pls take good care of yourself...
do not ponder about the past le..
you have to move on too...

Dear sis..glad we finally took the first step to move on too...
lets work together ya...
take care gal...

it's been a while since i cried.....feeling the sour-ness in my heart..again..
things always happen when i thought it's getting better...WHY!!!!

i simply just hate myself..

do not hurt yourself gal...wont feel good to see u like tt..not forcing u to solve ur prob immediately
just dun wan u to make urself feel so xin ku..i know it's hard..it's always hard to let go or should i say pour out your feeling...but...ya..takes time...pls dun let urself suffer...
Pray about it..

a week is gone...again...so fast ya...
weekends are always short...i wonder why...hmm..haha..
well...i'm feeling quite alright now...
Thank you guys for your care and concern...
Thank you my dearest sis...
Thank you dear father...strengthen my faith..strengthen me...

hmm...mum went to my church today...kinda happy...
*Praise the Lord*
hope she likes my church...=)
hope she will feel more comfortable here...

went to celebrate Yingyou birthday after church...
reallly feel very nice to be with friends again man...lots of things to crap about..
we were eating at a cafe in cinileisure...food there not bad...$$ also quite reasonable..
will go back there to eat one day..=)
hmm..bought a earring too..haha..long long time since i wear one..ha..

Take care my frens...all of you...one mth of SIP is over..4 more to go...jia you ppl!!!
Take care sis too..
will pray GOD to be with you all times ya...
watching over you...pour all your worries and trouble unto HIM ya..
HE will help you through...
keeping you in my prayer..

I thank you for bringing her into my life..just like an angle..looking after me..

i thank her...for her patience...for her care and concern...for her willingness to share my burden..
i thank her for not leaving me alone..
thank you very much...
no sorry indeed...should be between us..
but still...i'm sorry for being so stubborn..i'm sorry for making u hurtful seeing me like that..
i know you have been trying hard to "wake me up"..i know..and i appreciated that..
i will cont. to search for my smile...cont. to search for my faith..
pls always be by my side like i will always be by yours...

timid and afraid you can be..but i'm always here..if u need anything..or anyone..
what i said may not be right..but i just hope u will be alright soon....
i do not know how to help you..i can only give you my point of view...
i do not want to see you putting all the prob onto yourself..but to say it out..
i want to be by your side when u are down..
i do not want to be kept in the dark...i want to..be like you..allow me to share your burdens too...
i pray and asked that HE will guide you and help you through this period of time...
i really hope HE will...

Thank you very much...for being here for me..
Thank you very much...for not giving up hope in me but instead..kept trying hard to "wake me up"
Thank you very much...my dear sis...

walked home today..again..
that's all i wanna say..
take care people..

losing my faith in you...
i'm tired..

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.

hello guys,
how is everyone?
hmm..i'm still at the immunology section..next week then change to biochem..eh..
nothing much to update about SIP..everyday do the same thing..but i labelled samples for this two days...to me, that's the easiest..ha..but my back ache like mad..how i wish someone can help me massage man..haiz..

hmmm...have been emotion-less recently...or rather... i wish i could be emotion less..
someone asked me a question again..." have you regret..letting go your bf..".and .." why did you chose club and fren but not him..?"
i gave a thought and said:" ya..i did...i did regret.."..but i dunno how to answer the second question..
i guess he is rite...being in the club is something i like..i'm doing things i like..i guess i'm not matured enough to handle so many committment..i regret not balancing my time well..i regret not being a good gf..i regret for what i have done to him..
haiz..if we were still together...today will be our 23rd month plus 2days anniversary..but it isn't...3 more days will be 2 months...it has been two months since i last see him...i do miss you you know?...but i can only miss you now..you said the joanne you know is gone already...i dunno how to answer you..i dunno what to response...all i know is i can only miss you now...i miss your hugs..your kisses...your tenderness...your care and concern..your love..
today i walked home from tampines interchange...ya..i walked and run back..
just feel like running...i ran to tuesday training place..
was hoping i could see him...just wanna peep at him...see how is he..
was hiding when i reach..heart was pumping fast..partly cos i run..partly cos i'm afraid he will see me..but but but..he no longer teach there anymore...hmmm...so sad...so..dunno how to describe...
how have you been...how are you??...

dun need to say sorry my dear sis...if you were sorry..then i am too...i didn't notice you were feeling down too gal..
i didn't wanna tell you i'm not feeling good cos i know u will be worried...hmmm...but if both of us have the same thinking...not wanting to make each other worried...then i think we are not being true with each other rite?..you understand?..but again..i said b4 i'll try to understand you....i'll be patient and etc..wait till you wanna share then tell me..haiz..i also dunno how to say ar..think you should understand ba?..hmm..
dunno what trigger you to think of the past again...but hope you are fine... i'll be around if you need someone k...always will be...ake care too..

the world is so small.
one of the ex TP student working in my attachment place learn tkd too.
and her ex bf was someone we know...and the people we knows she knows too..
she say maybe she saw me in one of the tournaments b4..eh..
there it goes...trigger my mind to think of the past again..

she asked if i'm still training...i say no and she ask why..haiz...i must say the reason i'm in tkd is becos of him..most of it is becos of him..but i do like tkd..like it when after training i'm perpiring like mad..nice..i miss the training days..i really do..the sound from the target after kicking..the satification after kicking your opponent head..the fulfillment after breaking a plank...the dangerous stunts we performed...together...so nice to have a couple performing together rite...haiz...

someone asked me...if i were given a chance to get back with him...will i do it?
i said no...becos i know i will hurt him again...
he replied...meaning you still care for him alot rite...
and i guess..ya..i still care for him alot..

that person asked me that question on the bus..and i cried..i'm sitting facing the back of the bus..and i cried..so ma lu...then i faster get down the bus and walked home..
was crying while walking...
then i went to the small park near my house...and cried there...
feel the urge to call him...but i dare not...i dare not face him...i just feel so sorry for what i've done...
i'm really sorry...

hello..
i'll be tranfered to biochemistry section next week onwards for 3weeks .
kinda sad cos i'll miss doing what i'm doing now..eh.
just got the hand of it ar..then need to change section le.

i'm very tired recently.. guessed its becos i've loss too much water on saturday night..
didn't sleep well too..

i worried too..SIP...MP..ASc..feeling the stress le...guess it me...always worrying and giving myself stress...
at this state i am now..i'm not able to cope...i'm tearing apart le.
i did distribute work to other members and i know you guys are great but i'm still worried.
after reaching home after work...i will need to check mail...reply mail..
not many things to do now for club but in my mind..like alot...shucky feeling..
ASc is going full force with 5 advisors now..i think..eh...
Hope we will be able to fulfill the goal i set this AY...or am i expecting too much?..
i wan to do more solid projects but can't think of any...haiz..

I'm always too lazy to do research after work for my MP...shuck again...sat meeting up le..zero infor now...JOanne ar..can you start doing work?...PBL that time also like that..now MP also..MP 8 cu ar...GPA drop until like that already(comparing to myself) still dun wanna work hard..
haiz..

both of us noe that we can't get back together unless i change back to who i am in the past...
why...why did i change to a person like that with such charactor now...selfish..amibitous..irresponsible...
i'm too lazy to do anything...i'm drifting apart again...